I didn’t speak to him for 2 years. When I finally resumed communication he I want you to wash your hands shirt mentioned the incident, hadn’t seen the light, didn’t see a need to apologize. More years went by and still, he never took responsibility for his cold-hearted “Christian” attitude. But I also never brought it up because I was still too ashamed at having been so poor (I was in a much better financial position by then). One day my sister in law and I were chatting and the talk turned toward money matters involving family, and I recounted the story to her. She was shocked and horrified that my brother had been such an insensitive, selfish jerk (though why she was surprised is hard to understand, given his normal behavior).
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I want you to wash your hands shirt. I guess she must have talked to him about it because not long after that he offered to lend me $5000 to get my business off the ground (not “give,” mind you, “lend”). Well, my business crashed and burned, as small businesses are liable to do in the first 5 years, and I didn’t recover from the financial devastation for many years—in fact, I was homeless for about 7 years, and after that I was barely scraping by for several more years. Being unable to repay the loan was mortifying to me, and at one point I was apologizing deeply for the delay in replying. FINALLY, he said, “Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t have loaned you the money if we couldn’t afford it. It’s the least I could do after being such a jerk when you needed my help, especially after you helped me out all those years ago.” Just being validated was such a balm to my soul! My resentment, guilt and shame eased quite a bit.